Once Without a Time

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For someone who is so obsessed with time, I seem to forget that most people move on with it.

It is not an attribute of the common, to hang up a broken clock in the hall of their stagnant lives. That is a pattern of my own.

I’m typically atypical in my state of standstill. I’m inspired to aspire from the walls within.
The lure of the day marks just the coming of the night. The night beckons me to sleep, for the coming of a new day.

But others, they venture forward and seek to get lost, knowing that the discovery of life comes in the adventure of its course.

Their tales will be told as a time they were once upon, but mine will be told as being without, for I live in a place where the ticks do not applaud me, so I am not accepted as part of that story.

Once without a time” will be my only legacy. I’ll be lost outside of the ages.
Unaccounted for, for I didn’t count the score, counterbalancing the accounts of times galore.

Yes, it’s a strange thing to sit and write about time. For actually, it completely eludes me.

T
Diary of a Deluded Heart

Written: September 7th 2016
Published: January 31st 2017

{Written with Vallendri Arnout in mind}

Surrendering to Change (Pt. 2)

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Dear Deluded Heart,

Growing up, I always feared that moment of binding commitment. Each decision would weigh heavy on me, because I knew my decisions came with the curse of “forever”…

Like the keeping of the most sacred of vows, once I made a choice, I’d compel myself to stand by it. Whilst this made me a woman of my word, it also made me a woman of a few words; I knew I had to tread carefully, for I had no second chance.
Committed to the cause, I stripped myself of the virtue of a restart; a change of mind, heart or circumstance was a luxury I did not allow myself to have. I told myself I could only choose once, and then tied my fate to my decisions. My choices were not subjected to change, and that was a heavy burden to bear.

But I’m finally surrendering to change.

We are in the presence of Continue reading “Surrendering to Change (Pt. 2)”

The Great + The Flawed = The Truth

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Only once have I been made mute. It was when a man asked me, “Who are you?
– Kahlil Gibran, – ‘Sand and Foam’

To be asked to tell you of myself, my response would be silence. This silence tells of a moment’s contemplation; a brief hesitation… Which version is it that I am selling you? For I have a choice of three approaches: one voices only the great parts of my story, whilst the other confesses the flawed and undesired elements. Only when paired together, does the truth truly reveal itself as the third and final “whole”… Continue reading “The Great + The Flawed = The Truth”

The Power of Perspective

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Life – like clockwork – keeps on going. But time is also the gift that brings peace of mind by healing pain from old wounds, and strengthening eyes to bring forth perspective.

Often, mistakes are the fall that helps us dodge the bullet, but we are too busy tending the scrapes on our knees to notice the chaos we escaped. Continue reading “The Power of Perspective”

“Ohana means Family”

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We all concern ourselves a bit too much with what others think of us, and not enough on those we love the most.
I say “us” and I say “we”, but above all I mean “I” and I mean “me”.
I guess that in this instant, I chose to generalise at the expense of the few… or perhaps the many. All I know is that this holds true for me, so perhaps for you too… Continue reading ““Ohana means Family””

Cupid’s Chokehold

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Cupid shot me with his musical, note-shaped arrow.
With a tip spiked in song, the direct shot pierced my heart, filling my body with a sweet symphony that ceaselessly sings to me everywhere I go.

But this special arrow came with a bitter sorrow; a slow releasing poison tainting the bloodstream from which it feeds on. Continue reading “Cupid’s Chokehold”

Water|as|Love

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If Love is Water, then I am a desert, for it is something my lips have never tasted, a thirst that’s never been quenched, a sea I’ve never stepped into.

I’m often asked why I don’t take a plunge into the unknown and dive into the sea of love that awaits before me; the water of wanders, an ocean of life. And here’s why…. Continue reading “Water|as|Love”