Dear Deluded Heart,
Growing up, I always feared that moment of binding commitment. Each decision would weigh heavy on me, because I knew my decisions came with the curse of “forever”…
Like the keeping of the most sacred of vows, once I made a choice, I’d compel myself to stand by it. Whilst this made me a woman of my word, it also made me a woman of a few words; I knew I had to tread carefully, for I had no second chance.
Committed to the cause, I stripped myself of the virtue of a restart; a change of mind, heart or circumstance was a luxury I did not allow myself to have. I told myself I could only choose once, and then tied my fate to my decisions. My choices were not subjected to change, and that was a heavy burden to bear.
But I’m finally surrendering to change.
We are in the presence of Continue reading “Surrendering to Change (Pt. 2)”
Dear Deluded Heart
Sometimes I feel the past trailing behind me, like a cape blowing in the wind. Except, this cape is not empowering. It’s a slow stalker, unassuming, always present… tied like a noose around my neck.
It is the memories of past events, which form the fabric of this cape. The problem with this, however, is that memories can be a misconception; the grandest of delusions. Like a magicians slight of hand, it’s all trickery. Memories can reveal the magic – be it joy or trauma – and conceal the trick; the actual truth of the events.
The greatest trick that my memories perform, is that they cloak themselves as longing; when I choose to remember, I think I still desire. So I keep myself remembering and hold onto the feeling of wanting. But in this twisted slow dance, I lose the verity of my thoughts. When I finally do face my past, the memory – which disguised itself as longing – finally comes out from behind the rose tinted glasses. I find that the cape was just an illusion upheld by my selective recollections. It only served in slowing me down, and it was one that I no longer needed.
This sudden epiphany came from today’s events: I finally confronted a piece of my past: For far too long, I’ve held onto Continue reading “Letting go of the Past (Pt. 1)”
Dear Deluded Heart,
Dreams are as fragile as they are sturdy; they will stand for as long as we chase them. The end of a pursuit however, turns dreams into broken dreams. And broken dreams always come back to haunt us.
…That is the nightmare I fear; I dread the turn of the table…
…The slight tip of the scale, between dreams and broken dreams: Where one drives me forward, the other will run me over the edge. Where one Continue reading “Dreams|vs|Broken Dreams”
SPOILER! spoiler! SPOILER!
“The Walking Dead”
…Oh how thee tooketh mine heart and grabbed it by the nut-eth! Now, I don’t know if that’s a thing – both the phrase and the word “nut-eth” – but it is now!
For mine heart is heavy… woe, woe, woe!
You Walking Dead, hath played with mine head, and thou hast single-handedly realised mine worst Walking-Dead-Fears: namely, Continue reading “Dear “The Walking Dead”…”
“Only once have I been made mute. It was when a man asked me, “Who are you?”
– Kahlil Gibran, – ‘Sand and Foam’ –
To be asked to tell you of myself, my response would be silence. This silence tells of a moment’s contemplation; a brief hesitation… Which version is it that I am selling you? For I have a choice of three approaches: one voices only the great parts of my story, whilst the other confesses the flawed and undesired elements. Only when paired together, does the truth truly reveal itself as the third and final “whole”… Continue reading “The Great + The Flawed = The Truth”
Life – like clockwork – keeps on going. But time is also the gift that brings peace of mind by healing pain from old wounds, and strengthening eyes to bring forth perspective.
Often, mistakes are the fall that helps us dodge the bullet, but we are too busy tending the scrapes on our knees to notice the chaos we escaped. Continue reading “The Power of Perspective”
We all concern ourselves a bit too much with what others think of us, and not enough on those we love the most.
I say “us” and I say “we”, but above all I mean “I” and I mean “me”.
I guess that in this instant, I chose to generalise at the expense of the few… or perhaps the many. All I know is that this holds true for me, so perhaps for you too… Continue reading ““Ohana means Family””