Dear Deluded Heart,
My journey is coming to a close.
Here is my final reflection on this 3-part chapter…
It is our spirit – our soul/conscious/psyche – that connects the past, present and future. Our spirit moves so swiftly that it leaves its presence through time, allowing us to remember where we were, in the past, and dream of places we’re yet to be, in the future. However, the only thing that separates the ghost of our past, to the illusion of the future, is the space that we fill through the cast of our body; that is the physical presence that makes us present.
Hence we consist of 2 things: the physical ‘singular’, and the spiritual ‘infinite’. However, we must be wholly present; both body and spirit – in order to absorb the moment. Only then will we be rich and free to roam.
Yet the lines between the present and the past, are but fine and blurred.
A thought you have, becomes a thought you had, the moment that you think.
A thing you say, becomes a thing you said, the moment that you speak.
A direction you go, becomes a direction you went, from the moment that you move.
A choice you make, becomes a choice you made, the instant that you choose.
As so the story goes, the present becomes instantly claimed by the past, and constantly threatened by the superseding future. We however, exist on those fine blurred lines. We are those fine blurred lines. And all that we own is the moment. That is what must be honoured.
With that, can we honour a choice, which belongs to a version of us that no longer exists? Can we speak for a version of us, that hasn’t even been formed yet? How can it, when we exist in a state of infinite growth and constant change…? Surely doing so, would only aid in paralysing such growth.
And so, decisions made in the moment, cannot be honoured for the duration of a lifetime. At least that’s what I’m starting to believe anyway. All we can really do is promise ourselves for the moment that we exist in. Then we can promise to TRY and honour that moment, for as long as the moment commits itself to us. With that, we set our spirit free to roam…
Because we do not belong to the ancient past, nor to the mythical future, but to a present moment that is so fleeting, that we can never fully introduce ourselves to it. This moment is a whisper to a whisper. It’s an echo to an echo. It’s a soft breeze that the wind itself seeks to touch. And somewhere between these weightless instances, that is where our spirit dances. That is where we are reborn.
Hence, we are merely a collation of present moments existing on a fine blurred line, where everything simultaneously lives and dies at once; it is here we make decisions, and it is here that we set them alight. Everything else is just embers and ashes belonging to the past.
So do not concern yourself with honouring decisions made by minds you’ve shed; honour your spirit, and honour the moment.
Diary of a Deluded Heart
Written: August 14th 2016
Published: December 8th 2016