Surrendering to Change (Pt. 2)


Dear Deluded Heart,

Growing up, I always feared that moment of binding commitment. Each decision would weigh heavy on me, because I knew my decisions came with the curse of “forever”…

Like the keeping of the most sacred of vows, once I made a choice, I’d compel myself to stand by it. Whilst this made me a woman of my word, it also made me a woman of a few words; I knew I had to tread carefully, for I had no second chance.
Committed to the cause, I stripped myself of the virtue of a restart; a change of mind, heart or circumstance was a luxury I did not allow myself to have. I told myself I could only choose once, and then tied my fate to my decisions. My choices were not subjected to change, and that was a heavy burden to bear.

But I’m finally surrendering to change.

We are in the presence of constant change – both around us and within – a perpetual state of growth; growing bigger, growing better, growing apart, and growing towards. The presence of growth, means that we are not bound by our choices or actions, as each second of the day presents us with a new version of ourselves. As we shed our old skins and emerge into our new selves, we can begin to reinvent.

This is something I’ve finally accepted, and all the versions of me within are rejoicing at this new awoken state; knowing I can become whoever I want to be, at any given time, because I can change course

– The girl within me, who once made wrong choices, is released from the weight of her mistakes, because she has not condemned me for eternity; I can move on and change course.

– The carefree girl from my childhood knows that she can return from her ceaseless slumber and come out to play soon, because she’s not been forsaken; I can bring her back and change course.

– My ambitious self now has the free reign to reimagine new heights and feed them to me, because I can have multiple visions; I can reselect and change course.

– My overcautious self can now loosen up and be adventurous, knowing that no fall is damning, because I can always start again; I can rise and change course.

– The inner romantic in me can now have the confidence to take risks, because she can afford to give her heart and change her mind; I can rethink and change course.

– The girl that is called upon to choose my path now, is released from the burden of an unchanging fate, because I am changing everyday; I have the freedom to change course, at will.

I can leave everything I once knew behind me, and I can change. In this instance, surrendering to change makes me no martyr to the cause. Rejecting it does.

And with that, I begin my new start…

Diary of a Deluded Heart

Written: August 14th 2016
Published: November 27th 2016


13 thoughts on “Surrendering to Change (Pt. 2)

      1. Indeed! Endless uncovering through endless discovering. When you connect to that place where you are bound by no ties, that’s the place we can become truly infinite. But it’s freeing ourselves from our many different shackles which is the problem

        Liked by 1 person

  1. What a wonderful way to begin again. Thank you for this post. “As we shed our old skins and emerge into our new selves, we can begin to reinvent.” “… is released from the weight of her mistakes,”
    Your piece gives permission to be a real person with flaws, who is not condemned for mistakes made thirty years ago. It helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How can you be held accountable for the mistakes a past version of you made, 30 years ago…? Your past self who with different tastes, experiences and outlooks; on life, love and all that’s inbetween? That person is so far from the person that you are now. All we have is the now, and right now …You are you. Now, isn’t that pleasant?”

      Thank YOU, so much, for taking the time and effort to read and engage with my posts. It truly has put the biggest smile on my face ∞

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mutual smiles. This pleasant experience is why I come back to writing, when I have been away or feeling bleak.

        Making a connection through art is so much more productive than watching the news or visiting social media sites. The chances of a true connection are limited to Likes, smiley faces and pokes.

        I’m trying to get back on my schedule of writing early in the morning, as a positive way to start the day. I’m working on it and when I can’t life will go on until I get the chance to write more.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Social media eludes me; sincerity is becoming a lost concept through these mediums. But often, you find your many kindred spirits when connecting through the arts. Be it Writing, Music, Films, Welding – creativity is endless, and once you tap into it, it becomes an endless source of inspiration; first for ourselves, and then to others. I hope you do continue to write more, and starting your day off that way sounds like the perfect plan

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Wee art folk, the uncharted demographic! Ha ha.

        Living with art makes me feel full of life, like gardening. I hope to establish myself in a local art group soon. That requires leaving the house though…

        The funny thing is people on social media think they are sincere in 138 characters or less. I’m wordy, so tweeting for me is like putting on a gag halfway through a thought. Facebook is a good place to announce things without much depth or create a mass invitation to a birthday party with a picture or short video attached.

        Liked by 1 person

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